The first thousand days

I mark my 1,000th day as a breast cancer survivor today, May 27, 2007.

It’s just amazing…I never really thought I’d reach this far into the journey. 

Though I visualize daily cradling my grandchildren in my arms, there is always within me that resignation, or more of acceptance—that the future is uncertain, and there are no guarantees for and of tomorrow. 

I only have today…and for the first thousand days of my journey I have been living each ‘today’ to the best that I can—often with gusto, but sometimes with dread/fear/trembling and spiked every now and then with bouts of depression. 

The most important thing to me is that I have been miraculously gifted with this time to be with my family. The kids are growing up so quickly, and we try to make the most of each day—fulfilling the purposes for which we were created: mine to be grateful, and theirs to show me how to be grateful. 

The Lord blessed me recently with a family reunion—my siblings and I finally all got together, after two decades or more of not seeing one another. It was such a treat. And now we’re planning a big reunion to include nieces and nephews and grandchildren in December 2009. I intend to still be alive by then. 

And the greatest blessing yet in recent days: My youngest sister was spared from an unfavorable diagnosis. An excision biopsy of two lumps in her breast showed a benign or harmless growth, “consistent with fatty tissue.” Praise God Almighty!

Truly the Lord is watching us all closely as we mature in our faith. And Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother, is the most humble Help of all Christians in this earthly pilgrimage.

I pray for at least another thousand days of life, love and laughter. My hope rests in God’s mercy. Let me be ready when it’s time. Let me be ready all the time.

Number one

I graduated today with the degree Master of Business Administration (MBA) from the University of the Philippines (UP), ranked first in our class of 70 students. At the College of Business Administration commencement rites, my family went onstage with me when I received a certificate of recognition as well as a medal engraved with the words “TOP MBA”.

Two and a half years ago, I dreamt simply to finish my MBA. I had worked so hard---burning the midnight oil so-to-speak---just to keep up with class requirements while working full time. Sidetracked by Stage 3C breast cancer, I had to stop school and was eventually left behind by my original batch, the UP MBA Class of 2006. 

I returned to night school after six months of treatment with full hope of finally getting back to my normal routine. But I was diagnosed again for Stage 4 breast cancer in the middle of my first trimester back from cancer treatment. I decided to continue studying even as I underwent new treatment, completing six cycles of chemotherapy by the second trimester. 

A month ago, our program director had told a few students I was ranked first in our class. I didn’t believe the news right away. I wondered how that could happen and felt that somehow there was a mistake somewhere. I still didn’t have grades for two subjects (four units), and if I got anything lower than 1.0, my grade point average would certainly come out lower and I could slip in the rankings. 

Woman of little faith…I should have known God is so gracious—in fact, way too much gracious to the doubting Thomas that I was. He can never be outdone in generosity. 

I got two 1.25’s for those remaining subjects, and I ended up with a general average of 1.1905, still good for the top spot. 

This is a most incredible miracle, God’s genuine gift to His least expecting servant. I have truly found my purpose: it is simply to be grateful for the many different lives the Lord has given me. 

The life of a daughter, sister, wife, and mother. The life of a dentist, newspaper reporter, stockbroker, and writer. The life of a high school valedictorian, university student paper editor, creative writing fellow, and MBA graduate. The life of a breast cancer survivor, volunteer, speaker, and friend.

The lives I have been given may not always be the ones I would have chosen…but I will certainly make the most of all the time I still have.

I will never tire of thanking my donors, all 100+ of you out there, helping me and other beneficiaries of www.ourownlittleway.org, and the amazing women of www.icanserve.net. 

My graduation from MBA school was made possible because you chose to donate to my treatment fund in God’s perfect time. You are an indispensable part of the miracle God crafts for my family each day. I thank God Almighty continuously for letting you all touch my life in a very special way. 

As human beings, we cannot do anything that will add to or subtract from the greatness and glory of God. But whatever we do adds to or subtracts from the happiness in this world. And the beauty of this world witnesses daily to God’s overwhelming love for us.

You have certainly added to the beauty and happiness of our little family’s world. We know we will never be able to repay your kindness. But may the Good Lord repay you on our behalf in daily blessings, and daily love. 

Today I was recognized as number one, and I offer back to God this honor He has graciously granted to me. We all know that God is the real number one. It is indeed a great thing that to Him, we His children are.